i'm tired.

been feeling very tired lately. not so much the physical, but more mental and emotional tiredness. feel like the course is zapping alot out of me. if u ask me wat happened, it'll be the usual stuff: serious lack of placement hours, helplessness when faced with clients, stressed with assignments, hopelessness for thesis etc. it's the usual complaints, but the long term accummulation of stuff is starting to take its toil on me. I know i have loads of stuff to do, but i just dun haf the motivation to do anymore. i come home each day and all i want to do is rest and have time for myself. i enter each weekend telling myself that there's work to complete but each weekend, i jus can't do my work.

i feel so tired. really. tired of this course. it sucks. it juz zaps the life out of me. makes me feel completely stupid and slow and incompetent. i just dunno how long i can last feeling like that. at times, i am so tempted to quit the course and just go back to work. it's the easy way out, just haf to find $ to pay back the broken bond. and there's the additional benefit of not being as poor as i am now, and that i can support my parents in some way at least. not like i'm gonna get a pay rise when i get my masters. that's rite, you've read me correctly, i am not gonna get any pay rise when i go back, unless by some miracle i get to change a department that needs my masters. it sucks. but i have to live with it. why? cos i'm bonded.

guess have to think on the brighter side, recession now, so at least i'll have a job when i finish. but think abt it, there's always gonna be a lack for clinical psychs, and more so in recession time. so the verdict? i suffer so much, make myself go thru so much crap, make my parents pay so much money for my education, and at the end of it, i can't give them back any more money than before. it sucks.