trapped

ever felt trapped? it's more than a feeling of merely being 'stuck'. it's the feeling of being trapped in a certain situation or place. it's a feeling of near suffocation, a tightness in your chest, and a dull ache in your heart.

trapped i am, indeed. trapped at home. trapped at work. having to plan my time and activities very carefully, even having to plan when i can fall sick, when i can have a nite's out, what i have to do every nite.

it's my only nite to go out. i needed to get out. too much work to clear in office, too many people to deal with, too many things to explain and defend. i'm tired. i just wanted to go out and have a drink. is it really that difficult? yes, it is.

i need friends to hang out with. friends whom u can just call last min and they'll be available. available just for u. available because they hear the difference in your voice. available because they know ur circumstance.

could haf gone out on my own i guess. after all, sitting at a bar on my own in the quietness seems to be quite an attractive option. except tat i dread all the attempted socialization or chatting up that the staff or some weird fella will try out.

sigh. maybe i shld just take a walk to 7-11...