lethargy? busyness? overload?

not sure why, but this past month has been very busy for me. buys in terms of rushing reports and assignments, also in thinkin abt christmas shopping list, worrying abt unfinished reports and reviews, preoccupied with office stuff etc etc. then there's the meeting up with various groups of friends, these are times that i really cherish as i know that it gets harder to meet up when we grow older and are occupied with more and more responsibilities.

then christmas came and christmas went. it's a quieter christmas this year, and the 'atmosphere' is just different than before. something like how CNY has become over the years. but i'm thankful because Christmas holds meaning for me, not too much like CNY where it's just abt angbao and meeting relatives. the gift of salvation is the greatest, and when i find it difficult to give thanks, i always remember there's the gift of Jesus and that's overwhelming enough.

and as Christmas comes, it means my self-declared 2 weeks' break has arrived. but it's not that much of a break la, just that i dun need to go to the hospital, still haf to deal with the reports and watever nots for school. but at least it's 2 weeks where i dun haf to worry abt meeting clients. but lethargy is setting in. i find myself just wanting to sit and stare at the tv, or go out and haf fun (but sadly, no one to really go out with), or just lying on my bed and stone. i find it difficult to write my reports or do readings or reply emails regarding work. and i guess it's cos i've been so stressed out from work that i need the time to just not do anything.

and there's the uncertainty abt next year la. next yr is gonna be another year of changes. finish up school, hopefully i'll pass my thesis and grad by the end of the year, then back to work in mid april with a miserly pay. it's a greater uncertainty at work, cos as of now, it seems like i might need to cover an area that i totally hate and untrained for. sigh. so much uncertainty, it almost makes my masters course look appealing.

oh well, i think my brain's just too overloaded with all these uncertainties and the neverending reports to do etc etc. there are also some disappointments i haf to deal with... i need to really sit down and pray.