reflections on STMT

been a long time since i went for mission trip. short as it was, i'm really thankful for the opportunity to serve, and best still, to serve with a team capable of working and supporting each other. there were loads of last minute changes, and i really mean loads, but on the whole, things went smoothly. some things were not within our control, but obviously God was! I also saw each other's willingness to step up and serve in watever little way (e.g. chopping chicken, inflating plastic balls, hiding choc coins, interpretation, bbqing, frying, etc). no glam involved, possibly little recognition by others too. the impt thing is, it was done in love for God and His ppl. that is service in its purest form.

This trip is also the first time when i prayed for someone in my own language while she prayed in hers, and i have no idea of what her needs/prayer are. blame it on my non-existent knowledge of bahasa! but i was able to see God's hand working despite the language barrier. as ben said, we just have to pray by faith. who says that God won't know her needs when we don't??

anyway, i've always known that i'm not a sociable person. ya ya, i know you must be thinking, are you kidding, you're a psychologist, you work with ppl all the time!! you're supposed to be warm and good at words etc etc. but the truth is, i've always been a slow to warm up kinda person. i find it superbly difficult to talk to strangers, and prefer to do stuff instead of getting to know people. so it's very much about stepping out of my comfort zone when i go for missions. it's the same for this trip. i just haf huge difficulty tryin to talk to the locals, i dunno wat to say or wat to talk abt or wat i can or cannot say. but going with my cellmates who are so sociable (really!!) encourages me to try. sad to say, i don't think i was very successful, thankfully there were kids for me to use as an 'excuse' to get close to the parents. it's difficult, but i tried, and i need to continue trying. this area's obviously not my gifting, but doesn't mean i can use that as an excuse to avoid it. Lord help me open up, give me words to say, help me be warm to your people.

on the brighter side, the trip affirmed some stuff for me. like i can really work with preschool kids, or rather, presch kids warm up to me real fast. this toddler jus came and sat on my lap after i interacted with him for a short while (but he ignored me for most of that time!). everyone was surprised, even me!

I also learnt that i have what it takes to be a psychologist. God didn't make a mistake in letting me take this course (yes, i was beginning to wonder if i was in the wrong line!) i had the opportunity to use some of my skills with someone during this trip, and i was amazed at how i used my skills with such ease. this ease and comfort was totally opposite frm how i feel when working with clients at the hospital. i guess the pressure to perform and the stress frm sch really prevented me frm being myself and enjoying the process of listening and helping someone. i know the Lord was trying to affirm me, especially at this time when i am doubting if i am really suitable for the job. i'm not sure if the person was radically helped, but i know God was definitely tryin to teach me a lesson. =)

overall, i received more than wat i gave in this trip. perhaps that's the sentiment of many of my cell mates too.